he puts the penis in happiness.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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