The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
why is half of my head shaved?
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