just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
