When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
