My room smells like vodka and shame
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
