It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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