this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
