I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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