Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
