Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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