Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He passed out mid-signature
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
