The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
