I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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