its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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