i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
