alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
