My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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