K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
