Pappa wants mamma naked
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
