Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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