Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
