We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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