That's when you crack a 10am beer
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
