If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
