Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
