Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
