a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
