Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
