Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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