dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize