she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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