YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
