my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
