I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
