Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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