I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize