And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
