I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
