I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
