dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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