you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
