i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Who put my cat in the fridge?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
