I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
