no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
