Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
