i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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