Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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