Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
