He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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