Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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