just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
