just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
