I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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