i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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