Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
