So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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