Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
handjob tips. give me some.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
