Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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