im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
