Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
