we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
