so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
