Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
