apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I came so hard my ears popped.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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